At some point, we have to slow down and really pay attention to what is happening and what God is trying to show us. Sometimes it is hard to tell who is with you or against you. What is right and what is wrong. Questions I often ask myself are:
“Is God trying to tell me something?”
“Why is he showing me this?”
“Is this confirmation?”
“Is this a lesson?”
“Should I give it another chance?”
“When is it time to let go”
Being patient runs thin. Sometimes, enough is enough. It took 27 years for me to begin standing up for myself and to protect my space. I once allowed myself to be around things I did not stand for. Even, ideas or actions that I did not support. I used to say nothing but felt some type of way. I no longer, nor will I ever, deal with toxicity once I overcome this.
It gets old and it is time to know… who is for me and who is against me.
2017 was a true eye opener for me. 2016 is when it all started, really. “Once you get married, you learn who your real friends are or who really cares about you.” That sure as hell was not a lie.
I am the queen of trying to justify people’s actions. But I am going to give it to you plain and simple. When you get married, you lose friends. When you have a child, everything changes.
Motherhood is when you need support most.
Reassurance most.
To know you are not alone most.
When you are a first time mom this is even truer.
Luckily, I have an extremely supportive family, which lessens my demand for friends or outside support. Though, I am not in dire need of friends, it is always good to have them. A few of my friends were super BOMB and would check on me often. In the brink of becoming a new mother, I adopted some extraordinary mommy friends as well. Their insight, encouragement, and support was super refreshing and on time. Mommy groups are highly recommended to all moms. Old and new. Babies do not come with manuals and all children do not have a village to help raise them, so being a part of support groups allow you to share your experiences, ask questions, and learn what has helped for others.
Back to where I was going with this… Sometimes people change, priorities change, seasons change, and you grow apart. Nothing is wrong with that. There does not have to be a beef or turmoil. Love can be extended from a distance. As you adhere new titles or hats, you begin to surround yourself with people that inspire you, challenge you, and that possess the same desires and goals.
I recently lost a cousin and prior to that, I dealt with the biggest crap-fest last year with a group of people. Those situations really opened my eyes to a lot. I will not go into details on the extraneous, but just know sometimes you lews a few…
A few that you genuinely love and thought you would not have to live without… A few that you are bonded with by blood but mean you no good… A few that only contact you when they are in need but never reciprocate the same energy… A few that you thought meant well, but can never give you praise or a compliment… A few that were completely irrelevant but were in the picture to corrupt who you are and what you stand for… A few that you had major respect and admiration for, only to find out that they are not who you thought they were… A few that are full of excuses, so you stopped being tolerable…. A few that are just downright unhappy with every element of life, which causes you to water down your accomplishments or experiences.
I have learned that…
You reach higher heights faster with people to push you. | Life is what you make it. | Chapters close. |Letting go is not easy, but in the long run it is relieving. | There is such thing as being too loyal. | Nobody has your back like you. | Family is not interchangeable. | Life is short, so it is best to be your best self. | Everybody is not going to like you. | People will throw you under to save face and/ or to rekindle past relationships. | Sugar turns into shit really quick unless you address situations as they arise. | With people, you have to expect the un•expectable. | After someone shows you their true self, believe them. | Strangers can be more loyal and supportive than people you have known forever. | There are still wonderful people in this world. | Once you are crossed, you will always find yourself questioning that person, so you have to either forgive wholeheartedly or let them go.
“Life is like an elevator. On your way up, sometimes you have to stop and let some people off.” -Ziad K. Abdelnour
The quote is oh so true. Because as I soar… my circle is shrinking, my priorities are more demanding, what or who is important to me is more sacred, solidity is key, my dreams are accelerating, loyalty is everything, my joy has been trumping my situations or circumstances, & honoring God an leaving a legacy are in the forefront.
I am very minimal and do not ask for a lot. All I ask for is loyalty, positivity, adventures here and there, someone to push me when I need a boost, someone to hear me out and advise me when I am in need, someone that want what is best for me, and that reciprocates the same energy and effort as I do.
Okay, so maybe I do ask for a lot. My husband tells me all the time, “Demi, everybody is not like you”, which is true BUT I know who and what is best for the quest that I am on. I know how I feel and what will keep me content and without question. I am at peace knowing that I will lews a few, as long as what is important and lasting is here forever.
xo Demi Lewis, The Lews String
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